Haines

I arrived in Haines, AK last Sunday. Haines is a small town, even compared to Sitka, and more rugged climatalogically than the rest of Southeast Alaska. Less rain but more snow. It's right on the water and surrounded three-sixty by mountains. Drop-dead, take-your-breath away gorgeous.

The clinic where I'm working has two of the most talented and devoted doctors I have ever met. The docs here are the first I've met in my training who are willing to discuss the philosophy of medicine, something that intrigues me. One doc told me "I don't really do anything here. I listen and usually the patient heals themself". Memorizing the appropriate antibiotic is easy (even easier to just look it up) but having the humility and generosity of spirit to invest in your patient is harder to learn. Perhaps it can't be taught at all. Perhaps you have to teach yourself, if you're willing.

I went to a talent show last night and the auditorium was standing room only. We watched two little kids singing "Bill Grogan's Goat" and a girl played "Old McDonald Had a Farm" on her violin. Children danced or played the piano, a boy played the drums, and one chubby little girl in a white dress sang "A few Of My Favorite Things". The high school kids in the audience went crazy for every performer, screaming out children's names and whistling. After the show, I saw three or four people who I already knew and was able to compliment their children by name. I went to bed feeling warm and content.

This morning (Saturday) I walked 20 minutes down the road to a trailhead where I gained 3000 feet in 3 miles. The view took in two rivers, a bay, and mountains upon mountains. It had been raining when I woke up, but the weather had cleared by the time I hit the trail. On the summit, above the trees, I listened to Bach on my ipod and laid in the snow in the sun and watched the thin clouds race and tumble across the sapphire sky.

It's no Mayberry, though; no Northern Exposure. I've seen patients who are dealing with meth or coke addictions, teenagers pregnant and girls with eating disorders. A strong community and beautiful mountains can't protect you from rape and incest and domestic abuse. It makes me look hard at what I want from this profession, where I want to be in 10 years. There's money to be made in medicine, certainly, but I already know that isn't my priority. I want to be a good person; I want to be happy; I want to live in the bosom of a happy and healthy family in whatever form that takes. A good provider here could make a real difference in people's lives if she knows when to shut up and listen.