al Muthana

Can you find the kitty in this picture?

al Muthana

The roof of my aid station leaks.
Mangy, limping cats huddle under the hummvees.
Cockroaches and lizards emerge
From the cracks in my walls at dusk.
The air smells of burning trash,
My eyes water and my
Throat burns.

Next door, the Iraqi general breeds beautiful
White long-tailed chickens.
They murmur and cluck to each other as they
Pace along the high concrete walls.
I run in the morning, I listen to the
Call To Prayer and the soft coo of
Morning Doves.
At night, bats twirl and dive under
The sodium light.

Dog tags

You were named after a fish.
Flashing silver in the ocean,
Slipping up rivers to
Sun dappled mountain streams.

Your birthday, just shy of twenty.
A teenager.
A boy.

Your blood type, which we
Pumped into your broken body for an hour.
Praying for a helicopter
That never came.

Your religion.
One tag said "Buddhist",
The other, "Surfer".

I imagine you as you were- white teeth
In a young, tan face. A seashell necklace.
Two good legs.
A dog. A girlfriend. A fire on the beach.

I wonder what your parents thought,
The ones who named you for a fish,
When you came to them,

Sun bleached hair shaved off,
And told them what you'd done.
That you were coming here, to this dry land.
A land without fish or surfboards.

R and R

Just got back from 2 weeks of R&R. Had an amazing, relaxing time. The birds were at the feeders all day long; the frogs and coyotes sang all night. I spent time with family and friends, but did not do too much socializing. I ran and walked the dog on our trail, worked in the garden, drank coffee on the couch and enjoyed the wonder of indoor plumbing. It felt good to just rest, eat good food, and walk around without a weapon.

We repainted and took out our "new" canoe- a '63 Chestnut Deer. It's beautiful. I'm in love.


Please take a moment to notice the dearth of bicycles in the above picture.







My sister Emily came up, and we spent St Patty's day at an Irish pub. It was great to see her.



It took 4 days travelling to get back to Taji. I'm moving to my new unit in less than a week so will try to spend the next few days catching up on sleep and packing.

Taji

I was going to take a bunch of pictures of the post here in Taji, thinking that I would be here through September. Turns out, I'm being transferred out of my medical support unit within the next week or two. I'm being sent to an artillery unit to replace their PA, who is being punitively removed. It should be an interesting experience, especially since I'll be the only woman in the entire 300 person battalion. The Army just recently started experimenting with assigning female PAs to artillery units. The theory is that, historically, artillery units have stayed well behind the lines, making it "safer" than infantry units. The reality is, though, that this war does not set itself up with battle lines and there is not much use for weapons that can fire 10 miles. The FA (field artillery) guys are mostly being used as infantry- clearing roads and kicking down doors- something they hate since they tend to look down at the grunts in infantry.

I've been with my current medical unit for a little over a year, and have gotten pretty comfortable with my co-workers and will miss the mentorship that I receive here. I'll also miss the medics, who are well trained and talented. I have made some friends and enjoy the camaraderie of working with a variety of medical providers (we've got a dentist, physical therapist, psychologist, nurse, 2 doctors and 2 PAs in this unit). I'll be the sole medical provider over there, which will be a challenge, but I think it will also be exciting in that way.

Anyway, before the new marching orders came through, I did take a couple pictures of the outside of our clinic. This is where we park our "ambulances". These vehicles are called M-RAPs (Mine Resistant Ambush Protected) and they're about as comfortable as they look:





Anyway, for those of you who keep in touch with me via snail-mail, please hold your letters and packages until I get settled in to my new digs. If you want my new address, please email and I'll send it to you as soon as I know it.

Gratitude

I am so lucky. In the last 2 weeks I have received so many care packages, I don't have enough space in my room to store everything. I've gotten boxes from family, from friends, and from old co-workers. I have bags full of homemade cookies and my desk drawers at work are filled with chocolates. How can it be that I know so many good and generous people? Certainly nothing that I have done can deserve this.

To all my friends: From care packages to post cards to simple e-mails; all your outreaching makes a huge difference in my life. I treasure each and everything I get from you. You make all this bearable. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

We've been busy lately. Lots of sick people including a guy who went off to Africa for R&R and came back with malaria. Didn't see a lot of malaria during my rotations in Alaska. Other than that, I'm enjoying having my room to myself for a couple weeks while my bipolar roomate is away. I'm too old to share a small living space with someone totally lacking in social skills. I suppose there is some lesson in this experience- some life skill I should be gaining from this personal trial. I'm trying to learn it. I'm trying to become a better, more patient and understanding person. I guess I've got 7 more months to work at it. Thanks, universe. Not everyone gets such a unique chance to improve themself.

3 more weeks until I go home for R&R.

1/27

We've moved to a smaller camp, about 25 miles outside of Baghdad. We're busier here because we're farther away from the main hospital. There aren't as many mortar attacks, but the surrounding roads are more dangerous so we see more victims of IEDs (Improvised Explosive Device- roadside bombs that target vehicles). I work 12 hrs a day, 7 days a week. In my spare time I read paperback mystery novels and work out at the dingy little gym. People have been sending me letters and packages, which have been awesome. Mainly I sleep. If I could sleep through the next seven months, I would.

The weather is chilly- it was 30 degrees this morning when I walked to breakfast- but I'm not complaining. It'll be hot enough soon enough. People are starting to take their mid-tour leave and it's pretty much the topic of most conversations. I go in 4 1/2 weeks and I cannot wait. I can't wait to eat something besides wilted salad and soggy vegetables. I can't wait to wear something besides a uniform and to walk around without a rifle.

The connectivity here isn't as good as it was in Baghdad, so pictures take forever to load up. Not that there's much to take pictures of. Sand and 15' high concrete T-walls. Sand and metal reinforced buildings. Sand. But, because of the smoke (something here is always burning and it usually stinks) we do have some nice sunrises/sunsets. I'll try to take pictures and post them when I'm home in March.

Love to everyone and thanks for the letters, packages and just good thoughts. It means a lot.

11/11

My two month anniversary of leaving home. I did some yoga, straightened my room, and now I'm enjoying a cup of tea and listening to a Corelli concerto while doing a crossword puzzle.

Mortar attacks have slowed down to once a week or so. Work is busier than ever with routine urgent care stuff (migraines, stomach flu, sprained ankles, fingers slammed in doors...). It makes the days go by quickly, but the months are dragging along- I feel like I've been here for two years and not just two months.

I'm missing Thanksgiving, a holiday I've always loved. I love it that there are no expectations or cartoon characters bringing presents. You just spend an afternoon with people who you love while eating good food. Two of my favorite things. I have lovely Thanksgiving memories, I am very lucky. I will take the opportunity to remind myself of all the things I am thankful for- my incredibly supportive family and friends, my health, my home. All the things we should be thankful for every day but that we so often forget about. This year I will be thinking of everyone I've ever spent a Thanksgiving with and wishing you all the very best.